So that leaves the question of, how do you figure out what to keep and what to toss when getting into minimalism? There are many different methods. Some experts suggest you go room to room. Others say this is ineffective because people typically have one category of stuff in more than one place in the house. So they advise to gather up all the things from a category, such as books, pile them in the middle of the floor, and sort from there. I find this fairly impractical to do with small children and limited chunks of time available though. So I do my own method, which summed down is basically: Start sorting through things. Get interrupted 47,808 times. Try to keep sorting until you have to nurse the baby/make dinner/take out paint for the preschooler. Stop but come back to it later. ALWAYS come back to it later!
This is not me. But it is an accurate representation of my average day.
And that is the really the key to any method. Perseverance. It has taken me over a year and I still don't quite consider myself to be "done." Which may be in part to my random, personalized method but it has worked. We have so much less stuff now and the things we do have, we really love or we really use.
Ryan started 6 months ago and just today he decided to get rid of his vintage gaming consoles that he never plays. It took him awhile to be ready to part with it. And that's pointer number two: you will make second and third passes. What you once thought you could never, ever bear to part with you may eventually gladly place in the donate pile. Sometimes it takes us awhile to be mentally and emotionally ready to part with things. And that is okay, it's all part of the process. Minimalism isn't a competition to see who can get rid of the most stuff the fastest, but a very personal journey which will leave you with the things you most love and use.
When I first started on this journey I initially thought I was only going to go through the baby stuff. I thought I liked having a lot of books and clothes to choose from. But then I realized that having a bunch of just okay stuff really took away my enjoyment of the things I loved. My absolute favorites. And I realized that I didn't even really like a lot of those clothes and books. They were just something to keep around until I got something better. So I asked myself, If I didn't currently own this item, would I want to go out today and buy it? A lot of the time I would say no. No to the books I read once years ago but didn't really want to read again. No to the clothes from thrift stores that were cheap but out of style. Yes to my collection of Tracy Chevalier novels. Yes to the skinny jeans that fit me just right.
Aren't they beautiful? Someday I want them all in hardcover.
Some things I didn't really want anymore but I didn't want to just donate it either. Such as outdated childbirth education materials and my old horseback riding equipment. So I found people who would use it. Even though it was more inconvenient for me to get rid of them that way, I felt better about it. Most things just went to the thrift store. Unless you think you can make a lot of money or you want to pass it onto someone who will certainly appreciate it, it's usually not worth the time and headache to try and sell your stuff.
One of the hardest things to sort through has been the girls' toys. Deidre doesn't know or care if we get rid of something but Audrey is very attached to all her things. This makes for a difficult situation, especially as we have a "small" house of 1440 sq ft and very generous family members whose love language is gift giving. I regularly go through the toys and put aside anything she hasn't touched in awhile. If she doesn't ask about it for a few months, it goes. We also talk about going through things whenever she sees us doing that. One of our family values is: We only keep what we most love. If we're not using it, we need to give it to someone who will use it.
We also do a toy rotation which allows for more toys to be kept but saves me the headache of having a million toys to clean up every day. Because that's the thing: the more toys we have, the more I have to put them away. The more stuff you have, the more you have to take care of. Less stuff = less work for me and more time spent doing things I enjoy.
One of the many things I enjoy
I've noticed we're much more conscious of what we bring into the house too. It's not always easy to come home without buying something extra but it's not worth the wasted money and space in our house. The other day I went to Target and I had a very short list of what I needed. New jeans because my old ones tore in the knee, epsom salt, and dog food. I did look through the dollar and clothes clearance section for fun and I did find things that I wanted but I stopped and asked myself "Do I really need any of this stuff?" The answer was clearly no, so I focused on enjoying the browsing and I went to the check out with only the items on my list. People think that children are impulsive and have no self control, but adults are often not that much better.
Instead of spending money on unnecessary dollar items or clothing, I would rather spend it on horseback riding lessons or travel. I would rather have awesome life experiences than a house full of stuff. Everyone is different, of course, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying material things but I am glad to have discovered the joy of minimalism at this point in my life. It has, and continues to be, a beautiful thing.
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