Friday, December 7, 2018

Nursing in Public Etiquette - Toddler Edition

Hey, fellow toddlers! I'm a 2 year old expert nurser who's hobbies include: running around naked in the winter, nursing, painting on my arms, and nursing. I've seen some really bad nursing etiquette in public lately. While it's completely fine to put your toes in your Mom's eyeballs in your own home, you should observe some decency out in the public eye.

Rule #1: Body Position.

It's most comfortable for your Mom if you cuddle up nicely on her lap. I know it's more comfortable for us to stand and jiggle our butts in the air to the beat of 'Jingle Bells' but apparently that draws too much attention.


Looks like groovy dance moves but keep it to the privacy of your own home.





This position is better but difficult to maintain for more than 40 minutes.


Rule #3: Feet Stay Down.

Moms have this weird thing about what our feet are doing. You should leave them down next to her side, preferably holding them still. Kicking frantically, holding your toes in your hand, or putting them in your Mom's mouth is rude.


Mom doesn't look very happy here. Put your foot down, dude!


Rule #4: Deep Latch.

Getting red teeth indents on your boob is fairly unpleasant. So is popping on and off. Just commit to either nursing for awhile or pouring Dad's full glass of water onto the cat. Don't try to multitask. For the best latch open wide and aim the nipple towards the roof of your mouth. And don't forget Rule #1 too! Otherwise your teeth will slide down onto the nipple while you're trying to twist your body to see what's on TV.


In my defense, they decided to play 'Frosty the Snowman' right in the middle of my very important, 30 minute nursing session.


Rule #5: For the Love of God, Stop the Nipple Twiddling!

Mom said this should be a rule for all the time and not just in public. I disagree, but to each their own. It's also frowned upon to have both boobs out of the shirt at once or even to just dig into her shirt to pull the other boob out.


Since my Mom is a bad photographer it's hard to tell but I am twiddling the free nipple here. I prefer to nurse with both boobs out at once, a nursing style I refer to as "Boobie Bongos."


Rule #6: Leave the Hungry Toys At Home.

It's so cute to have Mom pretend to nurse your toys! But screaming "Mommy, nurse Unicorn!" in the grocery store gets a lot of looks. Especially when combined with pulling the other boob out of her shirt. So leave the temptation at home and focus on chucking food out of the grocery cart instead.



Here's an example of great NIP etiquette. You can tell because the man behind us is asleep instead of being really concerned that he was subjected to the horrific act of public lactation. It's just a coincidence that I'm asleep here. I can totally nurse this nicely even while awake!

Good luck everyone! And remember, rules were meant to be broken!

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Revising Tongue and Lip Ties: An Ethical Consideration

Tongue tie or ankyloglossia is a condition present at birth. It is generally defined as "a short, tight band of tissue tethering the tongue's tip to the floor of the mouth. It can affect how the child eats and speaks and can interfere with breastfeeding." (Mayo Clinic).




An upper lip tie is also present at birth and is generally defined as: the labial frenulum being short, tight, and restrictive. Like tongue ties, lip ties can potentially affect eating, speaking, and breastfeeding.

Awareness surrounding this issue has grown exponentially in the last few years, especially in breastfeeding and alternative health support groups and communities. When women ask for breastfeeding help on social networking sites such as Facebook others almost unanimously ask if the baby has been checked for a lip or tongue tie. Some people will ask for a photo in order to diagnose a tie. Parents are urged to have these ties cut or "revised" at the earliest opportunity, not only to ensure breastfeeding success but also because leaving the tie intact is said to cause a myriad of short and long term health problems.

Following is a list of some of the issues said to be caused by ties that are not revised: colic, reflux, breastfeeding problems (shallow latch, mastitis, misshapen nipples, nipple pain and damage, clicking sound, oversupply/undersupply, unusual nursing patterns), slow weight gain, carseat discomfort, tooth decay, gaps between teeth, orthodontics required, high palate, sleep apnea, snoring, speech delay or difficulties, facial tension, headaches, mouth breathing, difficulty eating solids, food, intolerances, ADHD, autism, and more. Many of these claims are anecdotal at best and these issues may be caused by multiple things. Even if the mother reports no breastfeeding issues: no pain or sore nipples, ample milk supply, baby is gaining weight well, she is strongly advised to have the tie revised in order to prevent possible future breastfeeding problems or other health problems in the child. Revising ties is also commonly advised for older children and adults regardless of if they are currently experiencing problems from it. But in the absence of a clearly defined current medical need, does cutting a tie more closely resemble cosmetic surgery?

The two main ways to revise ties are by scissors or laser. The exact procedure can vary and varying amounts of pain medication may be used depending upon the practitioner. As with many other procedures, it is generally recommended to revise ties as soon as possible in order to breastfeed successfully, prevent future problems, and to have a minimal impact on the child. Newborns are thought to recover faster and to feel pain less than older babies and children as they don't always react in the way a parent might expect. Recent research suggests that "infants not only feel pain the way adults do, but also that they have a lower pain threshold." (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/23/babies-pain_n_7117812.html)

Anecdotal reports of newborns who have a tie revised show that the recovery sometimes takes longer than expected. Many parents report that their baby will not readily latch on to breastfeed after a tie revision and that they are fussy and seem to be in pain for hours and sometimes even days afterwards. Some mothers report that their babies go on a 'nursing strike,' refusing to breastfeed and screaming when breastfeeding is attempted. Refusing a pacifier and bottle is also common. Some babies reportedly never breastfeed again even when the mother seeks help from a lactation consultant. Post surgical stretches (such as here: https://www.drghaheri.com/aftercare/) are often recommended for months after the procedure so the tissues do not reattach. Manipulating the wound site is likely to be painful for the baby and may lead to further oral aversions.

Most experts agree that revision is warranted in cases where the tie is very severe, the baby clearly cannot breastfeed well, and the mother is struggling with sore nipples due to a poor latch caused by the tie. Usually a recommendation to revise the tie is suggested by a provider, such as a pediatrician, dentist, or lactation consultant, after a visual exam of the baby's mouth. Some providers will also observe the breastfeeding dyad during a nursing session in order to see how the baby is able to function rather than routinely advising revision for all ties.

(Such as suggested by these IBCLC's:
http://mammaeblog.blogspot.com/2015/06/a-tongue-frenulum-vs-tongue-tie.html
http://www.theboobgeek.com/blog/tongue-tie.html
https://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/tongue-tie)

It should also be noted that there is currently no standard of protocol for tie assessment or even a universally agreed upon definition of what constitutes a tie.

Amidst all the controversy, there is one question that is rarely being asked. If a tongue or lip tie is causing no current problems for the baby or the mother: baby is breastfeeding well, gaining weight well, and the mother is reporting no latching problems due to the tie, is it necessary to cut it? What about the option of waiting until, or even if, the ties do cause problems and revising it then? And if the breastfeeding dyad is experiencing nursing difficulties, what about first putting time and money into a consultation with an IBCLC who may be able to offer non-surgical solutions?

Is it ethical to perform a likely painful, prophylactic surgery on a newborn in order to prevent things that have not been proven in research to be caused by ties?


Saturday, September 1, 2018

Moving Across the Street From Your Best Friend: A How To Manual

1) Have a friend who you want to live by.



2) Have your friend constantly ask the neighbors if they are moving so she can inform you immediately about any new houses that may or may not be up for sale in the next few weeks or years.

3) Convince your husband that he really does want to mow a lawn, shovel snow, and live in a less desirable city than you currently do. This may require a bribe of beer, steak, and lobster.



4) Contact a real estate agent. They will show up unannounced at the potential house and ask "Hey, are you selling your house? I have someone who wants to buy it! Oh, but they want to poke around inside first!"

5) Get a pre-approval letter for financing from your bank. Unfortunately, most sellers will not take a loud, brown dog in place of actual money.




6) Go to an unofficial showing of the potential house. Fall in love with it and loudly declare to your skeptical husband that if you don't get this house that is across the street from your best friend, you will die of a broken heart.

7) Put an offer on the house, which they will immediately decline because it is contingent on the sale of your townhouse. Fall into a deep, devastating depression while your husband is furious that they dared to refuse your offer.

8) Convince your husband that he really does want to buy this house. In fact, he wants to buy it so much that he should sell your current house first so then you can come back to the sellers with an offer that is not contingent. Remind him that even if this plan doesn't work out, as a former case manager he knows all the best homeless shelters in the area.

9) Have your parents coincidentally visit during this time so they can help you paint, fix things, and get your house ready to show. This is actually the ideal vacation during the retirement years!

                           


                                        


10) Your realtor will then call you with a last minute, unofficial showing. You are on a timeline because the house you want will be going live on the MLS in a few days. You are hoping to get it before that. since it's a seller's market. Put the kids in front of the TV while you and your mom dash around like mice on caffeine to clean and stage the house.


The correct way to stage your house.



The incorrect way.

11) Do the same thing the next day for another unofficial showing and the photographer. Make sure to bring your dog with you when you leave since he will bark ferociously otherwise. Look online for restaurants with a patio that allows dogs since it's already past dinnertime and everyone is starving and crabby. Drive all the way to the restaurant and be told that no, they in fact do not allow dogs. Repeat with another restaurant. Amidst the screaming and crying, give up and get fast food for the third day in a row.

12) Sell your house after only two showings the morning before it officially goes live on the MLS. Now you have about two business days before the house you want goes live. Send in your new offer and pray, pray, pray. Chocolate, wine, and binge watching season six of Orange is the New Black will help during this step.



13) Hear back after a few very strained days that.... You Got the House!!




14) Feel relieved and excited! Everything is working out and all the stress is gone!

15) Inspection and appraisal on both houses, solidify your financing, get boxes, get rid of stuff you don't want and be thankful that you've already done most of that since becoming a minimalist, pack, rent the moving truck, make arrangements for your dog and children during the move, get friends and family to help you move, change your utilities, change your address, prepare your children emotionally for the move, cry about leaving the house your girls were born in, what happened to no more stress??








Monday, April 16, 2018

How to fit 6 Days of Vacation into 2 Backpacks and 1 Baby Carrier



My parents were fortunate to retire young and move to Florida. I am even more fortunate to visit them and have done so four times in the four years they've been there. And every time I go I pack less stuff!

The first time we visited Audrey was two and we brought: one very large suitcase that we checked, two carry on's, and one personal item each. Since we had so much room I thought it would make sense to bring a lot of toys and books (kids get bored without lots of toys!), two outfits for each day (toddlers are messy!), and all the cloth diapers (I'll definitely want to spend time washing and drying diapers on my vacation!).

It turned out that grandma had a box of toys and books for her (plus we were so busy doing things we didn't have a lot of down time at their house), I needed to do laundry anyways so the extra clothes were unnecessary, and spending a week in disposable diapers would have saved time and stress (not to mention that a poopy cloth diaper is not fun to haul around all day at the beach).

Thankfully each trip I cut down on the amount of stuff we brought. My natural inclination is to over pack, especially when traveling with our young girls. This last trip was a spur of the moment decision because I found a really good deal on tickets. But we were flying on Spirit airlines, which only allows one personal item for free. Since I didn't really want to pay to bring stuff that I might not even use, I had to reconsider what I had packed in the past and only bring what was truly necessary.

Here's what we packed in our backpacks:





The girls clothes. Each girl had 3 outfits, pjs, swimsuit, sun hat, 3 pairs of underwear for Audrey, and enough diapers to last the travel day for Deidre. Grandma had diapers for us at her house but if we were going to a hotel I would still buy diapers at our destination instead of bringing them with.





My clothes: 3 outfits, pjs, swimsuit, sunhat, 3 pairs of underwear, and bra. Since we only packed 3 days worth of clothes I did laundry once. If we were at a hotel I would still plan on dong laundry even if that meant I had to hand wash our clothes.
Also pictured is my wallet and our vitamins, toothbrushes, comb, and a few hair ties. My mom provides shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, deodorant, and sunscreen (we are low maintenance). If we were staying at a hotel I would use what is provided there or buy it. It's not worth the hassle bringing liquids through TSA when you're wrangling two kids by yourself!





Here's what we brought for entertainment on the plane (if Deidre was a bit older we could get away with a fraction of this stuff! But she has a typical attention span for a 17 month old). Our in flight entertainment included: kids magazine, 3 thin books, folding felt board and felt shapes, memory game, lacing animals, 2 coloring books, twistable crayons (great for travel!) and stickers, finger puppets, sunglasses, beaded necklaces, Audrey's tablet and headphones and charger, my headphones, and my book. (This is a GREAT book by the way! And every time Deidre sees it she says "BOO-BEE! BA-BEE!" ðŸ’“) Not pictured is my phone which I used to take this picture.






For travel outfits we wore layers. A necessity when traveling to Florida from Minnesota in an arctic spring (It was January 74th when we left and the day after we got back was the historic April blizzard - 22 inches of snow!) Wearing layers versus just a sweater allowed us to bring an "extra" t shirt to wear there. We wore thin pants, t shirts, sweatshirts without hoods, and this lovely socks and sandals combo!


Some other things that Grandma has for the girls are a high chair, car seats, and umbrella stroller. I would rent these things if they were truly necessary instead of bringing them on the plane. The only thing that I think would be truly necessary would be car seats unless we stayed in one place or relied on public transportation. 

I've found a huge benefit of crunchy/attachment parenting is that we don't need a lot of the baby gear deemed necessary by mainstream culture. I exclusively nurse, negating any need for bottles, pumps, or formula. When my babies start eating solids they just eat real food so we don't have to worry about purees or puffs. Highchairs are convenient but your baby can also sit on your lap or stand up in a restaurant booth (Deidre's favorite). I bed share from birth so all I need is a bed larger than a twin, although that will do in a pinch. I do a lot of baby and toddler wearing, so while the small stroller is nice it's not a true necessity. 

My advice when packing for a trip is to lay out all the stuff you're going to shove into the suitcase on your bed and then put half of it back. 😊 Think about what you truly need instead of what you think you need. You'll be happy to have less stuff to keep track of and haul around the airport. Less is more!




Thursday, February 15, 2018

"What Do You Do All Day???" In 30 Pictures


7:13 am: Hope the baby will fall back asleep after nursing




7:38 am: No such luck. Time for Plan B - Coffee and Facebook





7:47 am: Making breakfast while Audrey tells me about her crazy dream
(it was funny, but I can't remember it now)






8:28 am: Making beaded jewelry
(not pictured-trying to get the dog to wear a necklace)





8:32 am: Deidre gets into the art supplies





8:45 am: The bane of my existence





9:12: Audrey getting in the way helping me bring the laundry downstairs





9:14 am: Deidre immediately wants in the laundry basket too and tries to shove Audrey out





9:17 am: Toddler Tantrum Instant Fix #1
(Bonus points if you knew right away what Deidre is doing)





9:47 am:  Toddler Tantrum Instant Fix #2





10:30 am: Dog Tantrum Instant Fix





11:20 am: Mom Mini Nap





12:08: Lunch tastes better if you try to climb on it





12:12: She ate all my tomatoes...





12:49 pm: The love of Audrey's life





12:57 pm: Sleepy snuggles and Netflix





2:41 pm: Story time





2:42 pm: Read it again





2:48 pm: Book #8





2:49 pm: Quite the character





3:00 pm: Legos





3:00 pm: Homeschool





3:30 pm: Snack





3:45 pm: Clean Laundry Ride





4:05 pm: Helping me make Audrey's bed 
(Bonus points if you can decipher our sleeping arrangements. Hint: there are actually 3 beds.)





4:12 pm: Milk is better when you can wiggle your butt in the air





4:32 pm: You've never really lived until you've worn a baby while cooking. 
It's hard to tell but she's in a ring sling.





4:39 pm: Instant Pot meatloaf and mashed potatoes 





5:01 pm: Dancing Queen




In case you didn't notice, there are some gaps in my day. I've blacked out any memory of that time, but I assume the following took place: changing diapers, letting the dog out to potty, getting everyone dressed, putting snow gear on everyone, cleaning up after meals, picking up toys, multiple conversations with Audrey, a few other homeschool activities, switching over the laundry, putting away the laundry, and the rest of the day after Ryan got home from work. I was tired of taking pictures figured you had seen enough.



"A-a-aye, I'm on vacation
Every single day 'cause I love my occupation"