Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Changes and More Changes!

Audrey has a growth check up today and although she's only gained 1 oz since her last visit a month ago she grew almost an inch in height! The ped was pleased with her progress and said she looks great and is the picture of health! Poor Audrey hates these visits, especially the weighing and measuring. She definitely remembers that unpleasant and painful things happen there. The ped also said that her kidney issues were the cause of all the subsequent health problems, which we knew but it was so nice to hear a medical professional say so as well!

One area of concern is that Audrey is still not talking. The only word she says is no. She used to say mama and dada, and still makes those sounds, but more in a babbling way. Originally we had planned on waiting until she turned 2 to go to speech therapy but the ped is pushing us to go sooner so the new plan is to go in the fall or late summer. The idea of speech therapy doesn't upset me nearly as much as her physical health problems did and it seems like a fairly painless and minor intervention.

Tonight I was cleaning out the last of the leftover medical supplies to donate or toss-what a happy task! I already love paring down my material possessions but have never been so glad to get rid of something before. It already seems like a very long time ago that we were using insulin needles, tube feeding pumps, and dozens of medications but it was only 6 months ago!

Another change I am making is trying to get off my anti-depressant for the third time. I have been taking it for over 10 years. I was already at a very low dose (10 mg) while trying to wean off during pregnancy but would absolutely love to not be on any at all. I have been on 5 mg for a week and can already tell a difference in my anxiety levels and mood. I feel very stressed and anxious about nothing in particular much of the time, overreact emotionally to things I cannot control, and often feel very sad. This is what has happened the other times I tried to wean off as well. This time I am trying very hard to notice these feelings, realize that it's ok that I'm feeling this way, and try to ignore it and get on with  my day. In the past I would have dwelled on it, gave into the feelings, and make life miserable for everyone else. I am also trying to get lots of vitamin D every day, exercise, and de-stress with alone time. I will also be trying St John's Wort for the first time after I have weaned completely off the citalopram. I know it's not the worst thing to be on an anti-depressant and I will definitely go back on if I need to, but it would be so awesome to not have that drug in my body, Audrey's body via my milk, or future baby's bodies during pregnancy-which is the biggest concern I have.

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