Moving Across the Street From Your Best Friend: A How To Manual

1) Have a friend who you want to live by.

2) Have your friend constantly ask the neighbors if they are moving so she can inform you immediately about any new houses that may or may not be up for sale in the next few weeks or years.

3) Convince your husband that he really does want to mow a lawn, shovel snow, and live in a less desirable city than you currently do. This may require a bribe of beer, steak, and lobster.

4) Contact a real estate agent. They will show up unannounced at the potential house and ask "Hey, are you selling your house? I have someone who wants to buy it! Oh, but they want to poke around inside first!"

5) Get a pre-approval letter for financing from your bank. Unfortunately, most sellers will not take a loud, brown dog in place of actual money.

6) Go to an unofficial showing of the potential house. Fall in love with it and loudly declare to your skeptical husband that if you don't get this house that is across the street from your best friend, you will die of a broken heart.

7) Put an offer on the house, which they will immediately decline because it is contingent on the sale of your townhouse. Fall into a deep, devastating depression while your husband is furious that they dared to refuse your offer.

8) Convince your husband that he really does want to buy this house. In fact, he wants to buy it so much that he should sell your current house first so then you can come back to the sellers with an offer that is not contingent. Remind him that even if this plan doesn't work out, as a former case manager he knows all the best homeless shelters in the area.

9) Have your parents coincidentally visit during this time so they can help you paint, fix things, and get your house ready to show. This is actually the ideal vacation during the retirement years!

                           

                                        

10) Your realtor will then call you with a last minute, unofficial showing. You are on a timeline because the house you want will be going live on the MLS in a few days. You are hoping to get it before that. since it's a seller's market. Put the kids in front of the TV while you and your mom dash around like mice on caffeine to clean and stage the house.

The correct way to stage your house.

The incorrect way.

11) Do the same thing the next day for another unofficial showing and the photographer. Make sure to bring your dog with you when you leave since he will bark ferociously otherwise. Look online for restaurants with a patio that allows dogs since it's already past dinnertime and everyone is starving and crabby. Drive all the way to the restaurant and be told that no, they in fact do not allow dogs. Repeat with another restaurant. Amidst the screaming and crying, give up and get fast food for the third day in a row.

12) Sell your house after only two showings the morning before it officially goes live on the MLS. Now you have about two business days before the house you want goes live. Send in your new offer and pray, pray, pray. Chocolate, wine, and binge watching season six of Orange is the New Black will help during this step.

13) Hear back after a few very strained days that.... You Got the House!!

14) Feel relieved and excited! Everything is working out and all the stress is gone!

15) Inspection and appraisal on both houses, solidify your financing, get boxes, get rid of stuff you don't want and be thankful that you've already done most of that since becoming a minimalist, pack, rent the moving truck, make arrangements for your dog and children during the move, get friends and family to help you move, change your utilities, change your address, prepare your children emotionally for the move, cry about leaving the house your girls were born in, what happened to no more stress??

How to fit 6 Days of Vacation into 2 Backpacks and 1 Baby Carrier

My parents were fortunate to retire young and move to Florida. I am even more fortunate to visit them and have done so four times in the four years they've been there. And every time I go I pack less stuff!

The first time we visited Audrey was two and we brought: one very large suitcase that we checked, two carry on's, and one personal item each. Since we had so much room I thought it would make sense to bring a lot of toys and books (kids get bored without lots of toys!), two outfits for each day (toddlers are messy!), and all the cloth diapers (I'll definitely want to spend time washing and drying diapers on my vacation!).

It turned out that grandma had a box of toys and books for her (plus we were so busy doing things we didn't have a lot of down time at their house), I needed to do laundry anyways so the extra clothes were unnecessary, and spending a week in disposable diapers would have saved time and stress (not to mention that a poopy cloth diaper is not fun to haul around all day at the beach).

Thankfully each trip I cut down on the amount of stuff we brought. My natural inclination is to over pack, especially when traveling with our young girls. This last trip was a spur of the moment decision because I found a really good deal on tickets. But we were flying on Spirit airlines, which only allows one personal item for free. Since I didn't really want to pay to bring stuff that I might not even use, I had to reconsider what I had packed in the past and only bring what was truly necessary.

Here's what we packed in our backpacks:

The girls clothes. Each girl had 3 outfits, pjs, swimsuit, sun hat, 3 pairs of underwear for Audrey, and enough diapers to last the travel day for Deidre. Grandma had diapers for us at her house but if we were going to a hotel I would still buy diapers at our destination instead of bringing them with.

My clothes: 3 outfits, pjs, swimsuit, sunhat, 3 pairs of underwear, and bra. Since we only packed 3 days worth of clothes I did laundry once. If we were at a hotel I would still plan on dong laundry even if that meant I had to hand wash our clothes.

Also pictured is my wallet and our vitamins, toothbrushes, comb, and a few hair ties. My mom provides shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, deodorant, and sunscreen (we are low maintenance). If we were staying at a hotel I would use what is provided there or buy it. It's not worth the hassle bringing liquids through TSA when you're wrangling two kids by yourself!

Here's what we brought for entertainment on the plane (if Deidre was a bit older we could get away with a fraction of this stuff! But she has a typical attention span for a 17 month old). Our in flight entertainment included: kids magazine, 3 thin books, folding felt board and felt shapes, memory game, lacing animals, 2 coloring books, twistable crayons (great for travel!) and stickers, finger puppets, sunglasses, beaded necklaces, Audrey's tablet and headphones and charger, my headphones, and my book. (This is a GREAT book by the way! And every time Deidre sees it she says "BOO-BEE! BA-BEE!" 💓) Not pictured is my phone which I used to take this picture.

For travel outfits we wore layers. A necessity when traveling to Florida from Minnesota in an arctic spring (It was January 74th when we left and the day after we got back was the historic April blizzard - 22 inches of snow!) Wearing layers versus just a sweater allowed us to bring an "extra" t shirt to wear there. We wore thin pants, t shirts, sweatshirts without hoods, and this lovely socks and sandals combo!

Some other things that Grandma has for the girls are a high chair, car seats, and umbrella stroller. I would rent these things if they were truly necessary instead of bringing them on the plane. The only thing that I think would be truly necessary would be car seats unless we stayed in one place or relied on public transportation. 

I've found a huge benefit of crunchy/attachment parenting is that we don't need a lot of the baby gear deemed necessary by mainstream culture. I exclusively nurse, negating any need for bottles, pumps, or formula. When my babies start eating solids they just eat real food so we don't have to worry about purees or puffs. Highchairs are convenient but your baby can also sit on your lap or stand up in a restaurant booth (Deidre's favorite). I bed share from birth so all I need is a bed larger than a twin, although that will do in a pinch. I do a lot of baby and toddler wearing, so while the small stroller is nice it's not a true necessity. 

My advice when packing for a trip is to lay out all the stuff you're going to shove into the suitcase on your bed and then put half of it back. 😊 Think about what you truly need instead of what you think you need. You'll be happy to have less stuff to keep track of and haul around the airport. Less is more!

"What Do You Do All Day???" In 30 Pictures

7:13 am: Hope the baby will fall back asleep after nursing

7:38 am: No such luck. Time for Plan B - Coffee and Facebook

7:47 am: Making breakfast while Audrey tells me about her crazy dream
(it was funny, but I can't remember it now)

8:28 am: Making beaded jewelry
(not pictured-trying to get the dog to wear a necklace)

8:32 am: Deidre gets into the art supplies

8:45 am: The bane of my existence

9:12: Audrey getting in the way helping me bring the laundry downstairs

9:14 am: Deidre immediately wants in the laundry basket too and tries to shove Audrey out

9:17 am: Toddler Tantrum Instant Fix #1
(Bonus points if you knew right away what Deidre is doing)

9:47 am:  Toddler Tantrum Instant Fix #2

10:30 am: Dog Tantrum Instant Fix

11:20 am: Mom Mini Nap

12:08: Lunch tastes better if you try to climb on it

12:12: She ate all my tomatoes...

12:49 pm: The love of Audrey's life

12:57 pm: Sleepy snuggles and Netflix

2:41 pm: Story time

2:42 pm: Read it again

2:48 pm: Book #8

2:49 pm: Quite the character

3:00 pm: Legos

3:00 pm: Homeschool

3:30 pm: Snack

3:45 pm: Clean Laundry Ride

4:05 pm: Helping me make Audrey's bed 

(Bonus points if you can decipher our sleeping arrangements. Hint: there are actually 3 beds.)

4:12 pm: Milk is better when you can wiggle your butt in the air

4:32 pm: You've never really lived until you've worn a baby while cooking. 

It's hard to tell but she's in a ring sling.

4:39 pm: Instant Pot meatloaf and mashed potatoes 

https://iwashyoudry.com/instant-pot-meatloaf-mashed-potatoes/

5:01 pm: Dancing Queen

In case you didn't notice, there are some gaps in my day. I've blacked out any memory of that time, but I assume the following took place: changing diapers, letting the dog out to potty, getting everyone dressed, putting snow gear on everyone, cleaning up after meals, picking up toys, multiple conversations with Audrey, a few other homeschool activities, switching over the laundry, putting away the laundry, and the rest of the day after Ryan got home from work. I was tired of taking pictures figured you had seen enough.

"A-a-aye, I'm on vacation

Every single day 'cause I love my occupation"

The Process of Purging

I love getting rid of stuff. If I could, I would rent a dumpster and just chuck All.The.Things. into it, laughing manically while the Imperial March plays in the background. But alas, I do live with other people who have these inconvenient attachments to their stuff. And I suppose I might miss some of my favorites too.

So that leaves the question of, how do you figure out what to keep and what to toss when getting into minimalism? There are many different methods. Some experts suggest you go room to room. Others say this is ineffective because people typically have one category of stuff in more than one place in the house. So they advise to gather up all the things from a category, such as books, pile them in the middle of the floor, and sort from there. I find this fairly impractical to do with small children and limited chunks of time available though. So I do my own method, which summed down is basically: Start sorting through things. Get interrupted 47,808 times. Try to keep sorting until you have to nurse the baby/make dinner/take out paint for the preschooler. Stop but come back to it later. ALWAYS come back to it later!

This is not me. But it is an accurate representation of my average day.

And that is the really the key to any method. Perseverance. It has taken me over a year and I still don't quite consider myself to be "done." Which may be in part to my random, personalized method but it has worked. We have so much less stuff now and the things we do have, we really love or we really use.

Ryan started 6 months ago and just today he decided to get rid of his vintage gaming consoles that he never plays. It took him awhile to be ready to part with it. And that's pointer number two: you will make second and third passes. What you once thought you could never, ever bear to part with you may eventually gladly place in the donate pile. Sometimes it takes us awhile to be mentally and emotionally ready to part with things. And that is okay, it's all part of the process. Minimalism isn't a competition to see who can get rid of the most stuff the fastest, but a very personal journey which will leave you with the things you most love and use.

When I first started on this journey I initially thought I was only going to go through the baby stuff. I thought I liked having a lot of books and clothes to choose from. But then I realized that having a bunch of just okay stuff really took away my enjoyment of the things I loved. My absolute favorites. And I realized that I didn't even really like a lot of those clothes and books. They were just something to keep around until I got something better. So I asked myself, If I didn't currently own this item, would I want to go out today and buy it? A lot of the time I would say no. No to the books I read once years ago but didn't really want to read again. No to the clothes from thrift stores that were cheap but out of style. Yes to my collection of Tracy Chevalier novels. Yes to the skinny jeans that fit me just right.

Aren't they beautiful? Someday I want them all in hardcover.

Some things I didn't really want anymore but I didn't want to just donate it either. Such as outdated childbirth education materials and my old horseback riding equipment. So I found people who would use it. Even though it was more inconvenient for me to get rid of them that way, I felt better about it. Most things just went to the thrift store. Unless you think you can make a lot of money or you want to pass it onto someone who will certainly appreciate it, it's usually not worth the time and headache to try and sell your stuff.

One of the hardest things to sort through has been the girls' toys. Deidre doesn't know or care if we get rid of something but Audrey is very attached to all her things. This makes for a difficult situation, especially as we have a "small" house of 1440 sq ft and very generous family members whose love language is gift giving. I regularly go through the toys and put aside anything she hasn't touched in awhile. If she doesn't ask about it for a few months, it goes. We also talk about going through things whenever she sees us doing that. One of our family values is: We only keep what we most love. If we're not using it, we need to give it to someone who will use it.

We also do a toy rotation which allows for more toys to be kept but saves me the headache of having a million toys to clean up every day. Because that's the thing: the more toys we have, the more I have to put them away. The more stuff you have, the more you have to take care of. Less stuff = less work for me and more time spent doing things I enjoy.

One of the many things I enjoy

I've noticed we're much more conscious of what we bring into the house too. It's not always easy to come home without buying something extra but it's not worth the wasted money and space in our house. The other day I went to Target and I had a very short list of what I needed. New jeans because my old ones tore in the knee, epsom salt, and dog food. I did look through the dollar and clothes clearance section for fun and I did find things that I wanted but I stopped and asked myself "Do I really need any of this stuff?" The answer was clearly no, so I focused on enjoying the browsing and I went to the check out with only the items on my list. People think that children are impulsive and have no self control, but adults are often not that much better.

Instead of spending money on unnecessary dollar items or clothing, I would rather spend it on horseback riding lessons or travel. I would rather have awesome life experiences than a house full of stuff. Everyone is different, of course, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying material things but I am glad to have discovered the joy of minimalism at this point in my life. It has, and continues to be, a beautiful thing.